MONonoke's 100 Ways to Avoid a Disaster
by Lunar Hikari
Summary: This is a list that MON and I made which starts out fairly normally for MON anyway... and ends up as complete and utter chaos like just about anything that MON touches ENJOY!. Yeah... I didn't know what category to put it in so whatever. Oneshot


100 Ways to Avoid a Disaster

By: MONonoke

MONonoke: by disaster, I mean ANYTHING bad that could EVER possibly happen to someone. Including, but not limited to: Dying, hostage situation, natural disaster, getting in trouble, referring to something (Ex: the party was a disaster), etc.

Warning: As numbers increase (and even before that) the solutions will become less and less relevant, or sane. Ex: #20

Hide under a bush

Grasp onto a tree

Run into a cave

Stay at the nearest house

Make a fort

Duck and cover

Hitch a ride

Ride away on a horse

Pray (doesn't matter to whom)

Ignore it

Wear armor (Al from FMA runs by, Noke hot on his heels)

Call your minions to protect you (only applies to Noke)

Become a turtle and hide in your shell

Take a hostage and threaten the attackers

Build a metal fortress, filled with everything you will need for the rest of your life

Go live in space

Call your animal friends to protect you

Swim to the bottom of a lake and wait

Live underwater (Not the same as #18)

Go to Wonderland

Explode the world (LH: O.o) and escape to another planet

Travel to the future

Become rich and famous

Hire a security/body guard

Cause another ice age

Battle a storm (LH: ? Noke: I've done it before! X3)

Defy the laws of physics

Defeat the gods/God

Prove the Easter Bunny IS real

Find Bigfoot

Travel to the past (Not the same as #22)

Pause time (LH: Like with the remote?)

Find the fountain of youth

Live in the center of the Earth

Find the land of the pixies

Run

Become a dinosaur

Summon a demon

Start a war against the elements (LH: wow…)

Cause the apocalypse

Resurrect Jesus/other deity

Talk to animals and live with them

Burn EVERYTHING!!! (Pyro: BURN BURN BURRRRNNNN!!!!!)

End all wars and genocide and hatred

Live with aliens (Not the same as #16)

Hijack a UFO (Not the same as #45)

Change history

Scream

Have your dog/other pet eat everything (starting with homework)

Jump into a black hole

Become a superhero by jumping into radioactive sludge, a volcano, etc.

Freeze self and be brought back to life by scientists. (Snow: YEESSSSSS!!!! XD)

Grow wings and fly

Fly to the moon (Not the same as #16)

Live in a TV show/cartoon/anime

Teleport away

Build a robot

Summon the monster(s) that live in your closet and under your bed to protect you (Kari: I suggest bribing them with candy…I like candy… Noke: WHO DOESN'T?!?!)

Call your parents for help

Look up how to survive on the internet

Read _How to Avoid a Disaster for Dummies_ for ideas.

Be one with the Earth

Live on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere

Find the Wizard of Oz

Become a traveling circus performer (the circus travels away from disasters)

Become immortal (Not the same as #33, cuz if you stay away from the fountain for too long, YOU DIE!!!! Noke: MUAHAHAHA!!!)

Get abducted by aliens (Not the same as #45, which is not the same as #16)

Cast a spell

Become a plant (Ivy: Yippee!!)

Become a ninja

Lie (don't tell the truth)

Become a shadow (Eclipse: YESSSSSSSS…)

Go into your basement

Get glasses

SPRINKLES!!! Kari: CANDY!!! Wait…their not candy? …dang it…

Ask scientists

Think

Go into a coma

Follow the yellow brick road

Create an invisible shield/wall around you

Possess people to do your will (Spectra: hehehe…)

Find the 7 dwarves and ask them for help

#dgbjkj …PURPLE!!!

Get advice from Grandma

Become BFFs with the grim reaper (Spectra: NO! He's MY best friend!! –growls menacingly-)

Ask a hobo how he/she avoids disasters

Develop gills and live with merpeople

$% YOUR MOM

Have great Karma

Cry

Sing

Evolve superhuman traits (may take a while so start in advance)

Do whatever your attackers tell you to (only if the hostage idea fails)

Create a super secret hideout (a.k.a. hide under your bed)

Make a batch of Fille Fiable (luck potion from Harry Potter)

Bribe whatever happens to be the cause of the disaster to go away (Kari: I still suggest candy, it's as good as money!!!)

Go to the Feudal Era of Japan and live with Inuyasha and pals (Shippo: pals! Ha! Yeah right! More like Kagome's pals, with Inuyasha just tagging along! Inuyasha: Shut up, Shippo. Kagome: Sit boy! Inuyasha: -bam!-)

Disable the security system

World Domination!

Become a robot (Not the same as #57)

Seal your soul into a suit of armor (Like Al from FMA!)

Become a dictator (not the same as #97)

Become a ghost!!! (Sayo: It's actually not that great… but whatever! More people for me to talk to!)

LH and MONonoke: YESSSSSSSS!!!! WE MADE IT!!!! 100 Way to Avoid a Disaster is finally complete!!!! (even though fanfiction will say that it only took one day, it actually took about 3 or 4… lack of ideas… lol)

LH: Most of the credit for this story goes to MONonoke, though I did make up a few of these, and added all of the random comments. Also if you want to know who Spectra, Ivy, Snow, Pyro (or Pyra) and Eclipse are… well they are some of my OC's. They are each a manifestation of one of Hikari's powers (Since Hikari has all 17 powers/types from Pokemon) Spectra is Ghost. Ivy is Grass/Plant. Snow is Ice. Pyra is Fire (and a Pyromaniac, hence the nickname, Pyro). And Eclipse is Dark/Shadow.

I'm also just going to include a list of the rest of them because I don't feel like putting them on my profile along with the rest of the OC's…

So here they are!

Hikari (Normal)

Lumina (Psychic/Light)

Eclipse (Dark/Shadow)

Pyra (Fire)

Ivy (Grass/Plant)

Snow (Ice)

Aqua (Water)

Spectra (Ghost)

Sparky (Electric)

Dragora (Dragon)

Pixii (Bug)

Kaze/Windy (Flying/Air)

Terra (Ground)

Adamant (Rock)

Hitima (Fighting)

Venori (Poison)

Silver (Steel)

Some of the names are REALLY crappy, I know… You try thinking up a name for a poison type!

But…yeah I'm going to be including them in a fanfic idea that I have…that is if I can ever figure out how it is going to begin…

Oh…Right!

MONonoke: Cookies are not your friends! They are PURE EVIL!!!! And… THE CAKE IS A LIE!

LH and MONonoke: See ya!


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